Sex and love are such topics that very inadvertently draw our attention and the best part is that no matter if we have come across this experience or not or whether we have our own prejudiced thought or not but we love to know others point of view. At the beginning itself I’d like to make it clear that writer or speaker may not have something new to say but he gets readers or listeners that show the inclination towards the topic and its magic effect upon our life.
Indeed it is very difficult to separate or wedge in between these topics but if try it can kill the whole subject. It is like separating salt, spice and oil from the pickle. The moment you do subject loses all its existence. And needless to say there will be no fun to carry any interest in this subject.
Keeping your interest alive and continuing with the topic I would like to say that sex is not an emotion rather it is a discharge of mental anxiety. Human body has bones and flesh and there inside of our body several things grow and die similarly as in our brain several things appear and disappear. This process is so natural like making of cells and their dying.
Sexual feelings also build within and die with the time. Scientific study says that men think about sex on an average 34 times in a day whereas women think on an average 19 times in a day. This imbalance says that men love sex more and they find sex more fulfilling and motivating. Male find sex as more intrusive thoughts and so it is harder for them to differentiate the chemistry of their building relationship.
Human can need sex for many other reasons and not just for sex. It can be for expression of emotions like love, hate, loneliness and grief and sometimes to give a kick start to their relationship or one’s isolated life.
Having sex is both mental and physical journey. To experience this lets have a thought about sex and run it like a movie in the mind and then try to fall asleep. Suddenly you will wake up with a sense of a fall out and experience a pool of wetness all around you. The more frequent you are in thinking about this during bed time the more regular it becomes. There is no shame in it as we all have experienced this in our early teens.
This is the natural fusion of reality and dream. Dreams co-relate with your reality and reality splays into your dream. This inter play is the magic but when a human is alone and living in miserable conditions of isolation and loneliness and his mental energy is the only energy to connect him or her to one’s desired object then sex is not just a sex but an obsession to feel connected with the bygone.
No matter how many partners you change your grief or sense of loss will remain stronger within. You will crave more to feel the bygone partner internally although your body is experiencing the new one. It is a dangerous situation and more risky as it leaves a profound grief and loneliness in heart.
A heart can’t throb longer in such situation. Indulgence after indulgence the rage of grief is not ending. Sex is a diversion which is acting as a way to channelize your energy but your grief is unrelenting. It is not letting you have sense of freedom.
In most cases, drugs soon add into this course of action and are backed by promiscuous sex that makes life further difficult. And coping with the loneliness becomes harder and life is in constant threat due to physical and mental abuse.
Life is still easier while one is in indulgence of sex and drugs if compared to the time when life gives you a sense as where one is driving his or her life then only grief, misery, anger on self and acute despair wall on them till death.
Sex is a method to reach love. When the objective of sex is not to reach love then life has to suffer no matter how great the escape of sex looks. The inner emptiness always reflects within the outer search.
Love is the body where intimacy grows. Sex is its expression. It is the outer reflection for the inner search of companionship.
Men start dating in their grieving hours because they want to ventilate themselves and talk about their emotions with a woman which is found much easier for men than for women under that same circumstances but both rush faster than normally in such hours. However emotionally women are stronger than men. They find other women in their community to share their emotions and feelings if they really want to.
For a man easy mating is the impulse to share all his rocking emotions where he can’t share himself easily with a woman but this big world becomes a big playground for his emotional search. Emotional emptiness makes a person wanderer. Sex is just a relief and can give a sense of attachment for a while but it has a limit and after that it is gone. It reaches to the tilling chill of a physical plain only however human wants are way beyond this.
Inner emptiness still exists. One is still searching and this running is only changing body but the quest is to reach the soul. Sexual pleasure becomes a pleasure like eating or listening to a fine music. It is just a temporary.
Human’s need for companionship is spiritual quest and finding it is the only way to calm our senses. We need a soulmate where sharing is not just the physical act but life fulfilling physical and spiritual sharing. Here heart and body go in the same direction and moment of sex is enterprising.